Hi, it's Nila again.
Lenny Lee won the June 2022 Challenge with his heartfelt, real-life entry Dear Mom.
Here he shares a few things about pleonasms and how to get rid of them.
THOSE PESKY PLEONASMS
Is your writing a victim of pleonasms? Pleonasms, aka redundancies, are words and/or
phrases that are not necessary and add nothing to the story. They slow action
and add to word count. Once aware of these pesky pleonasms, you’ll find them
everywhere, even in the works of well-known authors.
These intruders sneak onto
the page and unless found and deleted or altered take up space. Finding and
fixing them takes time and a keen eye. The results are worth the effort.
Here are some examples of pleonasms with
suggested edits. Can you spot the
redundancies?
1.
Hillary won a free gift of cash money.
Edit: Hillary won some money.
Even better, Hillary won a million dollars! (Free and gift are the same. Cash
and money are the same.)
2. I saw the evil crow with my own eyes and heard him caw with my own ears.
Edit: I saw the evil crow and heard him
caw. (Whose eyes and ears are they but
mine? Lol)
3.
Sharon ordered a tuna fish hoagie sandwich.
Edit: Sharon ordered a tuna
hoagie. (Tuna is a fish. Delete fish.
A hoagie is a sandwich. Delete sandwich.)
4.
After he kissed her, she said, “It’s déjà vu all over again.”
Edit: After he kissed her, she
said, “It’s déjà vu.” (All over again is the same as déjà vu.)
Here are a couple of not so obvious redundancies: Can you spot them?
1.
He entered his PIN number on the ATM machine.
Edit: He entered his PIN on the
ATM. (In the acronym PIN, the N stands for number and in ATM, the M
stands for machine.)
2.
The invitation read please R.S.V.P.
Edit:
The invitation read R.S.V.P. (the P in RSVP is French for please.)
While putting our thoughts
on paper, it’s easy to overlook redundancies and let them slip onto the page.
Whether you find these bugs while writing or when editing, it’s important to
squash them. Readers don’t like a lot of unnecessary words. They want the story
to keep moving without being distracted.
Here’s a link to a website that provides
pleonasm quizzes with suggested edits. https://kathysteinemann.com/Musings/?s=quizzes&submit=Search The link will take you to a Master List of
Redundancy Quizzes for Writers. It’s fun to test yourself. Also, this site is
full of useful information. It’s listed as one of the 100 best websites for
writers.
Once you track down those pesky pleonasms, you’ll be surprised how many have taken up residence in your writing. Editing them will reduce word count, stir action, and improve your MS/WIP.
Happy writing!
Hi!
I’m Lenny. I live in the peach state north of the Chattahoochee River (USA). I’m a freshman at the University of Georgia. I write poetry, short stories, chapter books, and I’ve begun my first novel. My biggest writing achievement was winning the WEP June 2022 challenge. I’m an animal lover, sports fan, gamer and junk food addict. You can find me on my blog - Lenny's World.
~~*~~
Thank you Lenny Lee for the tips and congratulations once again for your winning entry!
#WEPPLEASEREADTHELETTER #WEPWinner #guestpost https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/07/wep-june-2022-challenge-winner-lenny.html @DeniseCCovey, @YolandaRenee, @LGKeltner, @OlgaGodim @jemifraser #amwriting #writingchallenge
#WEPPLEASEREADTHELETTER #WEPWinner #DearMom #guestpost https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/07/wep-june-2022-challenge-winner-lenny.html@DeniseCCovey, @YolandaRenee, @LGKeltner, @OlgaGodim @jemifraser #amwriting #writingchallenge
~~*~~
Aaaand the next Challenge will be upon us before you have time to say, 'August? Plenty of time!' We hope you will consider joining us next month for the prompt -
Please remember that the outlines on the Challenge page are pointers only and there is absolutely no compulsion to use them to interpret the prompts. Feel free to take the prompt in whichever direction you are inspired to, genre no bar except erotica. Not mandatory either to know/listen to the music or what the sonata is...
We can't wait to see what you all come up with! See you here in August!
~~*~~
Many have complained that
they can't comment on several blogger blogs. Until Google fixes the problem,
the solution is to return to the boring old pop-up comment system which doesn't
allow individual replies. If you have a blogger blog, consider doing away with
embedded comments for now. Pass the word! Better than nothing!
And please remember to check the thread
on WEP to find those who may have left a comment there.
I loved reading this Lenny. I am constantly looking for these pesky little beasts - but they still sneak into my writing. ATM jumped out at me. PIN didn't. My bad.
ReplyDeleteI actually go around saying ATM machine and PIN numbers at the drop of a hat. Don't write them but my speech is...ahem...contaminated liberally with them. No excuses now that Lenny's made us all aware... :)
DeleteCongratulations, Lenny!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the educational and enlightening read. Wait. Did I just commit a neoplasm no-no? *wink*
Fist bump.
Congratulations, Lenny! Super post. I definitely check my manuscripts for pleonasms. I didn't realize there was a name for word over-usage. I'd never thought about ATM and PIN either. Thanks for the heads up!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Lenny!! I've never heard the term pleonasms before! I've getting better (slowly) at eliminating redundancies as I draft but I still find some when I'm editing!
ReplyDeleteI love seeing this post Lenny! Thank you! And congratulations again on Dear Mom.
ReplyDeleteIn the current market, many readers just want the bare bones, no repetitions, no redundancies, which has changed from the classics where authors were permitted to take a long time getting to the destination. I've come to love what I call "slash and burn" when I go through my flowery, wordy manuscript and cut, cut, cut. Evil editor that I am.
I could learn a lot here. I have already. Yikes - I'm guilty of repeated redundancies to a de ja vu extent. Smiles.
ReplyDeleteLovely seeing you here, Rawknrobyn! We're all guilty as charged. Good to see a specific post on the topic.
DeleteGreat post, Lenny. We all use redundant words or garbage words like 'just' and 'very'. Mark Twain has a quote about the last one:
ReplyDelete'Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.'
Hi Lenny - this is great ... well done and so useful to have the explanations. Congratulations on your win - well deserved ... a fun, but necessary post. We all use pleonasms so often - there's two !! Too often we use pleonasms! Cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteI didn't know the name, but I'm certainly an abuser. I'm sure many writers are unaware, but good readers seldom even see them. At least that's what I tell myself about all writing errors. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat informative post. Thanks Lenny.
Congratulations on your win. Your letter was touching, so beautiful!
Great post! Never knew these were called pleonasms. Just a question, would a sentence with pleonasms like 'I saw it with my own eyes' work as an emphasis point or still be redundant?
ReplyDeleteHi Miss Bernadette,
DeleteThanks for reading my guest post.
Good question. Yes, for sure you can use a pleonasm for emphasis.