#WEP June 2022 Challenge Winner Lenny Lee' on Pleonasms

Hi, it's Nila again. 

Lenny Lee won the June 2022 Challenge with his heartfelt, real-life entry Dear Mom. 

Here he shares a few things about pleonasms and how to get rid of them. 

THOSE PESKY PLEONASMS

Is your writing a victim of pleonasms?  Pleonasms, aka redundancies, are words and/or phrases that are not necessary and add nothing to the story. They slow action and add to word count. Once aware of these pesky pleonasms, you’ll find them everywhere, even in the works of well-known authors.

These intruders sneak onto the page and unless found and deleted or altered take up space. Finding and fixing them takes time and a keen eye. The results are worth the effort.

Here are some examples of pleonasms with suggested edits.  Can you spot the redundancies?

1.   Hillary won a free gift of cash money.     

Edit: Hillary won some money. Even better, Hillary won a million dollars! (Free and gift are the same. Cash and money are the same.)

 

2.   I saw the evil crow with my own eyes and heard him caw with my own ears. 

    Edit: I saw the evil crow and heard him caw.  (Whose eyes and ears are they but mine? Lol)

 

3.   Sharon ordered a tuna fish hoagie sandwich.

Edit: Sharon ordered a tuna hoagie. (Tuna is a fish. Delete fish.  A hoagie is a sandwich. Delete sandwich.)

 

4.   After he kissed her, she said, “It’s déjà vu all over again.”

Edit: After he kissed her, she said, “It’s déjà vu.” (All over again is the same as déjà vu.)

 

Here are a couple of not so obvious redundancies: Can you spot them? 

1.   He entered his PIN number on the ATM machine.

Edit: He entered his PIN on the ATM. (In the acronym PIN, the N stands for number and in ATM, the M stands for machine.)

 

2.   The invitation read please R.S.V.P.

     Edit: The invitation read R.S.V.P. (the P in RSVP is French for please.)       

While putting our thoughts on paper, it’s easy to overlook redundancies and let them slip onto the page. Whether you find these bugs while writing or when editing, it’s important to squash them. Readers don’t like a lot of unnecessary words. They want the story to keep moving without being distracted.

 Here’s a link to a website that provides pleonasm quizzes with suggested edits. https://kathysteinemann.com/Musings/?s=quizzes&submit=Search  The link will take you to a Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers. It’s fun to test yourself. Also, this site is full of useful information. It’s listed as one of the 100 best websites for writers.

 Once you track down those pesky pleonasms, you’ll be surprised how many have taken up residence in your writing.  Editing them will reduce word count, stir action, and improve your MS/WIP.

Happy writing!

Hi!

I’m Lenny. I live in the peach state north of the Chattahoochee River (USA). I’m a freshman at the University of Georgia. I write poetry, short stories, chapter books, and I’ve begun my first novel. My biggest writing achievement was winning the WEP June 2022 challenge. I’m an animal lover, sports fan, gamer and junk food addict. You can find me on my blog - Lenny's World.

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Thank you Lenny Lee for the tips and congratulations once again for your winning entry! 

We'd love it if you could share this post on your SM platforms! 

#WEPPLEASEREADTHELETTER #WEPWinner  #guestpost  https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/07/wep-june-2022-challenge-winner-lenny.html   @DeniseCCovey, @YolandaRenee, @LGKeltner, @OlgaGodim @jemifraser #amwriting #writingchallenge

#WEPPLEASEREADTHELETTER #WEPWinner  #DearMom  #guestpost  https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/07/wep-june-2022-challenge-winner-lenny.html@DeniseCCovey, @YolandaRenee, @LGKeltner, @OlgaGodim @jemifraser #amwriting #writingchallenge

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Aaaand the next Challenge will be upon us before you have time to say, 'August? Plenty of time!' We hope you will consider joining us next month for the prompt -  

Please remember that the outlines on the Challenge page are pointers only and there is absolutely no compulsion to use them to interpret the prompts. Feel free to take the prompt in whichever direction you are inspired to, genre no bar except erotica. Not mandatory either to know/listen to the music or what the sonata is...

We can't wait to see what you all come up with! See you here in August!

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Many have complained that they can't comment on several blogger blogs. Until Google fixes the problem, the solution is to return to the boring old pop-up comment system which doesn't allow individual replies. If you have a blogger blog, consider doing away with embedded comments for now. Pass the word! Better than nothing! 

And please remember to check the thread on WEP to find those who may have left a comment there.

Nila for the team  

Winners - #WEP June 2022 Challenge #PleaseReadtheLetter

 Hello writers! Nila here. 

The June Challenge has concluded with a whole bunch of superb entries, thank you! - to all who joined in with their diverse,  original, creative, fun, poignant, quirky and altogether mind-blowing interpretations. 

Each challenge feels like well, no-one can top this level of creativity and then you all do exactly that in the following challenge, kudos!

And it's always a thrill to welcome new participants. This challenge we welcome Arti Jain from My Ordinary Moments who introduced us to Cleave Poetry, a new form for all of us.

Here's a round up of the entries posted :

Nilanjana Bose - Don’t Return To Sender -  An open letter that could be nailed to too many doors in the corridors of power right now. 

Denise Covey - Escape from Mariupol - Some letters are written with the greatest of intentions, but may never be read.

LG Keltner - The Letters Left Unread - A young woman writes letters to cope with the difficulties of life.

Bernadette Braganza - Please Read The Letter - Reminiscences, instructions & consequences that come with a letter!

Debbie D - Please Read The Letter - An old letter triggers a torrent of bitter memories.

Olga Godim  - Please Read The Letter - A letter could change a life…when delivered at the right time.

Jamie - No Longer Yours - Hate jumps  to conclusions.

Sonia Dogra - I Didn’t Want Us To Drown - A letter is all you need to convey the unsaid, sometimes you just grow out of love.

Lenny Lee - Dear Mom - A boy deals with grief through a letter to his deceased mother.

Jemi Fraser - Schrodinger’s Letter- A letter propped on a pepper mill and an empty house. Good or bad?

NR Williams - Please Read The Letter - Creating a better life.

Damyanti Biswas - Secrets and Memories - Letter from a bargirl with a reason to run.

Hilary - Please Read The Letter -  Letters of Positivity.

J Lenni Dorner - Luring You In - Written for the Uncaught One.

Carole Stolz - Please Read This Letter - Words can never express how much I miss you.

Carrie Ann Golden - Unsent Letters - One letter has the power to change everything. 

Michelle Wallace - Please Read The Letter - Mr. N.A. Hoskins would like a job.

Kalpana - Read The Tweet - Who read the tweet?

Arti Jain - A Poet’s Plea - An introduction to Cleave poetry.

Renee - Please Read The Letter - Unrequited love - a curse.

CL Hart - Please Read The Letter - A father realizes his daughter is not only dangerously troubled, she is no longer even human.

Roland Clarke - Please Read The Letter - No news is not always good news. An exchange between those serving at the frontline and their family across the ocean.

Shortlist

Our incisive judge Nick Wilford has spoken on the winners. Our shortlist this round was a near consensus, we all voted for the same set of entries. As always, there were entries which we all loved but they did not make the final cut. There are more superb entries for every challenge than there are winners' places. So don't be disheartened if your name isn't there this round, maybe next time. Keep writing! Who knows? You could be the winner of the next Challenge!

Commenting

Thank you to all those who comment widely, especially those who read and comment even when they do not have an entry in the ring. Commenting is super important to us both as feedback towards improvement of writing craft and as a communication channel for community building.

Sadly, this  month had commenting issues. No one's quite sure what is going on, but it is not just a Word Press/Blogger issue. Please check the comments on the WEP post where we posted comments that wouldn't take on blogs. 

Please note that due to incessant spamming issues, we have had to keep comment moderation on. So your comment may not show up right away, but we will get to it soonest possible. We value your comments, please keep them coming.

Critique Prize

The winner of each Challenge has an opportunity to get a critique prize from professional editors/published writers – our sidebar displays the prizes for 2022. If the winner has no manuscript/WIP ready for critiquing then the prize is passed on to the runners up. Therefore, it’s important that the winner(s) let us know immediately if they do not have work ready to be critiqued, so that we may get in touch with the next in line. Also important to submit work for critique within three months of winning so that editors can plan their work schedule. They are busy people and work to definite, often urgent deadlines. So thank you for your cooperation on this matter.

 

This month the winner gets a first chapter/10,000 word critique from me, Nilanjana Bose, a published poet and short fiction writer. The winner also gets a guest post here at WEP on a topic of their own choice.  

NOW LET'S CONGRATULATE THE WINNERS ! 

THE WINNER OF THE JUNE 2022 CHALLENGE, PLEASE READ THE LETTER, IS -

Many congratulations, Lenny! Your entry Dear Mom made a direct hit on our collective heart. Nick said, ”Simple and unvarnished. Beautifully moving for that reason.”

Please post this badge and link it to your winning entry. Enjoy the critique prize or pass it on if you’d prefer. We look forward to a guest post here on a topic of your choice.

THE RUNNER UP OF THE JUNE 2022 CHALLENGE IS -

Congratulations, Kalpana! Your entry Read the Tweet had us holding our breath at the taut suspense.

Nick said, “Speaks to an important social issue in a riveting, in-the-moment tale.”

Please take this badge and link it to your winning entry on your blog.

AND FINALLY, THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD FOR THE JUNE 2022 CHALLENGE GOES TO -

Congratulations, Michelle! Your entry, Please Read the Letter, cracked us up - a much needed dose of humour done to a perfect turn.

Nick said, “A welcome slice of dark humour. Nicely done.”

Michelle,  please take this badge and link it to your entry on your blog.

Thank you to all our amazing participants for your entries. We read so many magnificent and magnificently varied takes on this month’s prompt!  

Read stunning entries from our WEP JUNE 2022 PLEASE READ THE LETTER winners @DeniseCCovey @yolandarenee @LGKeltner @OlgaGodim @jemifraser #amwriting #flashfiction #wepwinners https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/06/winners-of-wep-june-challenge.html

#WEPFF PLEASE READ THE LETTER winners announced @DeniseCCovey @yolandarenee @LGKeltner @OlgaGodim @jemifraser https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/06/winners-of-wep-june-challenge.html #amwriting #flashfiction #wepwinners

Come congratulate our JUNE winners! #WEPFF PLEASE READ THE LETTER Challenge @DeniseCCovey @yolandarenee @OlgaGodim @LGKeltner @jemifraser #amwriting #flashfiction #wepwinners https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/06/winners-of-wep-june-challenge.html

Do please join us in August for the next, exciting Year of Music prompt -

Nila for 

#WEP June Challenge is on with more great music! #PleaseReadtheLetter for #June 2022 - Sign up here June 15-17

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Welcome to the June Challenge at WEP! This is Nila with you. We've had some super amazing entries for our previous two challenges and I'm so excited to see which direction you all take with this musical prompt. 

Just to recap, WEP and these Challenges are for all those with a passion for writing, regardless of the point they've reached in their writing journeys.

·       Are you still learning your craft? Get clear and constructive feedback from an encouraging community of writers.

·       Want to try out a new WIP on us? Publish an extract here.

·       Did you want to continue a series? Do it here.

·       Adore writing to prompts in a supportive environment? This is just the space for you!

·       Want to win a prize? Jump right in...there are three. 

A word about critiques - they are a vital part of our Challenges, but they can also prove to be contentious. 

Readers, please remember to offer critiques only if asked for. The idea is to be helpful, not hurtful, to give your inputs for making the writing shine even better. Be courteous at all times. 

And writers, please be specific about the level of critique you want, if you do not want your writing to be critiqued then NCCO is  your friend. 

More details on the Critique Page, please read if you're new here. And good to refresh even if you're not.

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Another word - about comment moderation.

WEP is being absolutely slammed by spammers. We hate comment moderation as much as the next blogger, but we can't allow spam to choke us. We'd hoped to remove it for the June challenge, but that seems unlikely,

So please leave a comment and we will remove it from spam asap. Bearing in mind we're all super busy, please don't panic if it's not done right away!

Thanks for your patience!

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This month's prompt is based on Please Read the Letter by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss - a break up song and a moving plea for understanding at the termination of a relationship. Click on the link, give it a listen and go where the music/lyrics take you. Many different interpretations are possible, some of which are outlined on our Challenges page. But they are indicative only. You need not follow any of that. We always love a different take.

Please remember to add a tagline. Short and sweet, a tagline sums up the story. And it's great practice for submissions!

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June Prize -

is a critique/beta read of 10,000 words or 1st chapter, whichever is shorter from moi, Nilanjana Bose. Most here know me but for those who don't, I am a bilingual poet, fiction and travel writer.  My short stories have been anthologised and my poetry published in online and print in US, UK, Bahrain and India. I blog at Madly-in-Verse. 

 

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The August Challenge 

This challenge is based on Moonlight Sonata by Ludwig van Beethoven a nod to Western classical music from the 19th century. A timeless masterpiece that he composed in 1801, dedicated to Countess Giulietta Guicciardi, who was briefly his student he fell in love with. but could not marry due to the strict social conventions of the time.  It acquired its evocative nickname five years after Beethoven's death in 1832, after the poet/music critic Ludwig Relistab said it brought to mind the moon setting over Lake Lucerne.

 

There are a million potential ways to interpret this challenge - use the title to define your setting, a water body, a full moon, a floating craft, a romantic evening...Use it to devise your character - a werewolf, a vampire, a modern-day witch/wizard...Use the backstory to create your flash about circumstances scuppering a relationship...or a nickname coming to define something/someone...Beethoven's life itself can inspire a thousand stories - listen to his music composed 200+ years ago and go where the muse takes you. 

Have fun writing!

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Looking forward to where we all get to with this prompt!